So, what is wrong with me?
Why do I have such a difficult time praying longer than two minutes before my mind goes off on one of many distractions that have nothing to do with prayer, devotion, the Bible verse in front of me, or even God Himself?
We are called to be Christ-like – and yet I’m so unlike Him. Compared to Jesus, my life seems to be one of wandering around – looking at all the sights and sounds around me – with no real sense of purpose. I feel like I’m in a giant museum – going from exhibit to exhibit. I’m interested in some, bored by others, captivated by the wonder, but already anxious to see what’s next. But, you what the problem is? What really is getting to me this morning is that I already know what my purpose is. I know I have a very compelling mission and its very clear. I receive instructions and encouragement every morning when I open up God’s Word. And the Great Commission is not really it. It’s really an outpouring of my faith – not a duty. No, my main purpose in life is getting to know God better and better each day.
That is my mission. However, I have a great difficulty in translating that mission to my day to day living. There seems to be a disconnect between knowing what my life is all about and what I actually end up doing. My choices seem to made in a given instant and very much dependent to the vast amount of influences begging for my attention. The “tyranny of the urgent” eagerly takes my attention and focus away from trying to hear that still, small voice of God. And I’m not winning this battle. What matters the most in my life, knowing God, is failing to capture my attention.
So, what is the solution?
Through frustration, I am reminded that God knows all about my weaknesses. He captures my attention just enough to realize that there is this thing called grace that God gives us each day. Complete forgiveness. And through this grace God gives and forgiveness, we are transformed. We are changed. Our flesh is crucified again, again and again. I’m realizing that my life is ultimately not about following a plan or carrying out a mission, but placing my full trust in a person. Jesus Christ. By faith in Him, the choices or the lack of choices that I am making now are being brought into a harmony with our eternal purpose that God is orchestrating in a magnificent way. I guess its all about trust, isn’t it? In a world that is begging and looking for trust, I am reminded this morning there is One who I can place my full trust in – always, forever and no matter what.