Who do you say I am? When Jesus looked at me right in the face – his eyes conveyed an earnest I’ve not seen before, it was if my heart and my soul lay exposed for the world to see. Who are you? I thought. Who else can you be? I have seen first-hand the miracles. I have heard his teaching. I have travelled day and night with him. I KNOW the man. You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.
I know what they think of me. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law see that I’m just an ordinary, unschooled man – who doesn’t have the training and knowledge to recognize the Messiah if and when he comes. But I tell you – it’s not the head that leads you to believe in the Savior and recognize who he is – it’s the heart. I know I can be impulsive, quick to judge, and make rash decisions. My words and actions flow out of me uncontrollably like a swollen river in the spring. I’m a man of action rather than a man of reason. But nobody can deny my love and my devotion to Rabbi Jesus.
I desperately want to be a disciple that my Lord can be proud of. I’m not afraid to do anything. I will walk water, literally, to show my Lord that I have faith strong enough to move mountains. And yes, sometimes I get a little wet in my boldness, exposing a lack of faith that most like to keep hidden. That’s just me, I guess.
When Jesus told us that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law – even to the point of death – I just couldn’t let that happen. I told him, “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!”
And do you know what Jesus to me? “Get behind me, Satan. You are a stumbling block. You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Could he be really talking to me? A stumbling block? An agent of Satan? That just can’t be. I love Jesus. I’m his chosen disciple. He has revealed to me things that most of the disciples don’t even know about.
But to be betrayed by one of us? Unthinkable! To be turned over to the chief priests and suffer, perhaps even die? I just can’t let that happen. I am Symeon Petros, Simon Peter, the name Jesus gave just for ME – the rock upon which I will build his church. I will not let him down. I will stand tall for Jesus and not deny him.